When You Feel Dried Up and Worn Out

July 1st. I have made it halfway through the year. When the Lord gave me the word "Strength" for 2020, I didn't know what the following months would hold. Loss. Transition. Unknowns. Shifts. Intensity. Questions. Choices. Service. Frustration. Sacrifice. Beauty. Connectedness. Simplicity. Focus. Prayer. And many more words that I have yet to uncover.

I have been on my annual June sabbatical this past month which basically means I don't keep myself to structure. I don't plan my kids' education. I don't look much farther than the next meal. I sleep, read, go to the pool, complete basic chores. I allow life to unfold around me, living intuitively, sinking into the long, muggy days of June like a hot bath. I water the plants, turn pages in a novel, put some pork tenderloins on the grill. Text some friends. Meander around my neighborhood. My body and mind have felt dried up and worn out.

As I look into the face of the rest of the summer, I am fighting to look for joy, to find some hope. If I look into the face of social media, I find very little. My eyes have moved from the Lord, that deep soul-tethering to Him, and have gotten caught up in all the online voices...the insane and the well-meaning. Sometimes it's like a train wreck I can't look away from. I find myself drunk on information, opinion, and idea, and in need of the sobriety that comes from phone boundaries, being content with what I already know, and living out my calling right here, right now, today. What's going on "out there" doesn't change my call "in here". I need to show up for my family, my home, being grounded and rooted, looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my life and faith.

I need the rest and renewal that can only come from sinking my roots deep into Him. Drawing up sustenance from the Source. In my present weakness, I need the strength that only comes from the Holy Spirit, the strength to say to yes to the good, the holy, the right, and no to the distracting buzz of edutainment. My well is empty and the sources I have gone to offer me nothing. This is the perpetual lesson it seems of life with hyperconnectivity.  It's time to fill the well.

Our plans and ideas are changing rapidly. Nothing seems to be set in stone. The upheavals both large and small take their toll on our bodies, minds, and souls. Yet we are not alone. Jesus, our kind companion, is near, and He makes all things new. He seeks us, tends us, heals us, restores us. I need Jesus more than I need another opinion, news briefing, Instagram story. He's the answer for the dried up and worn out. Not a list or a protocol, but a Person.

It's time to accept the long haul that the next months will be, but it's also time to accept that Jesus walks this tiring journey with me. The Holy Spirit can be active in me even when my body feels exhausted. He can invigorate and renew my mind even when my mind feels fried.

The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Romans 8:11

That verse is Good News. The Spirit who raises death to life lives in me. All of the dead places in our souls can be given new life. I need resurrection!

Resurrect us, Lord.